


Luna and Stubby

by losthpfanficwriter (erbkaiser)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-31
Updated: 2019-03-20
Packaged: 2019-11-26 05:41:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18176579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erbkaiser/pseuds/losthpfanficwriter
Summary: Luna Lovegood makes a new friend with a black dog she finds on the grounds. The really weird thing is, why does this dog turn into famous singer Stubby Boardman?





	1. Chapter 1

A lonely blonde Ravenclaw second-year sat at the edge of the stands for her House, as they watched the Quidditch match between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff. It was supposed to be the season opener of Gryffindor versus Slytherin, but the sneaky snakes had managed to get out of playing on this day. The weather was getting worse and worse, and the crowd began leaving for the shelter of the castle as rain started pouring down. Not so the blonde, she was watching the game being played out above her.

'This is madness, we'll catch our deaths out here,' said Cho Chang to her friend Marietta. 'Come on, let's leave. Potter will probably win as usual.'

'Oh look Cho, it's Loony Lovegood,' sneered Marietta as the two fourth-years passed by the blonde girl. 'Who do you think Loony is lusting after Cho?'

'Well Loony? Is it Cedric, or are you after Potter?' Cho spat at the little girl, then pushed her off her seat. 'Must be cold out here without your jacket,' she laughed.

'Oh hello Cho Chang. Yes it is cold, my jacket and socks are missing again. Hopefully the nargles haven't taken them. And while Cedric Diggory is a nice boy, I think Harry Potter is much better boyfriend material,' Luna replied in a dreamy voice.

'Cedric is mine, you little bitch,' Cho pushed Luna again, causing her to stumble down the steps. 'And Potter? He probably doesn't even know you exist. Why don't you do us all a favour and get yourself killed by Sirius Black?'

'Yeah Loony, nobody likes you. Get lost,' Marietta added, pushing Luna down further.

'I think daddy would like an interview with Sirius Black, so I think I _will_ go look for him. I can hardly watch the game as it is, from down here. Bye!' Luna skipped off, away from her tormentors.

'That girl is crazy,' Cho said in a disbelieving tone.

'Just like her nutball father,' Marietta added. 'Come on, we'll go put some porcupine quills in her bed. We can't let the little bitch get away with ignoring us like that.' Tittering, the girls left.

Luna was walking under the stands, looking for any sight of Sirius Black. Logic dictated he would be nowhere near a Quidditch stadium with dementors nearby, and since wizards lacked all logic, he was almost definitely nearby.

She squinted her eyes hard until she saw light in her vision. 'Oh there you are,' Luna said with a smile. 'Thank you nargles, I do like it when you show me the way.' Following the 'lights', Luna went out from under the stands, away from the stadium as she drifted towards the Forbidden Forest.

In the Quidditch match, Harry was shivering far above in the clouds, when suddenly a swarm of dementors rushed towards him. He felt his consciousness slip away, and then he began falling down, passed out.

Meanwhile Cedric Diggory caught the snitch, and looked up in victory, but then he saw Harry fall toward him. From the teacher's stand came a loud ' _Arresto Momentum!_ ', and Harry's deadly fall was stopped.

The dementors broke off from their pursuit of the tasty snack, two souls for the price of one, as teachers began casting Patronuses. Instead they veered off towards the forest.

Luna saw a large black dog rush away from the stadium, straight towards her. 'Hello Padfoot,' she smiled at the dog, and it stopped in its tracks, gazing at her. 'I didn't know you liked Quidditch Padfoot,' Luna added, dancing around in the rain and avoiding the puddles. The dog walked with her, watching her closely. 'Is the game over then? I wonder if Harry won again. He is rather talented don't you think?'

The dementors felt a slight reflection of the aura of their main target, and rushed to the forest. There they saw not Sirius Black, but a lone student with a dog. Hungry, one dementor broke off from the main group, and descended towards the girl to feast on her soul.

Luna saw the puddles of rain around her freeze, and looked at the dog. 'Mr Padfoot, are you doing that? I didn't know dogs could control the weather. Are you really a dog, or are you a Peruvian Weather Hound?' She looked up, and saw dark shadows fly towards her. 'Oh I don't think I like those things...' Luna began to shiver, as she saw her mother's last seconds of life before her eyes, then began to cry, as the dementor reached her, and reached for her face with its bony claw.

Padfoot the dog was terrified as the dementor swooped down, but they ignored him, and went straight for the little girl that had somehow been calling him by his Marauder name. But now she was in mortal danger, as the demon prepared to kiss her!

Padfoot morphed into his human form, and Sirius Black, the most wanted fugitive in both Muggle and Wizarding Britain, faced a dementor again. Fighting his fear he raised the wand he had stolen from a drunken wizard in Knockturn Alley at the demon, and yelled ' _Expecto Patronum!_ '

Only a white mist left his wand, as he had few positive memories left thanks to Azkaban. But the mist was enough to deter the lone dementor, and with a hiss of pain and anger, it flew off.

'Oh damn, girl, are you alive?' Sirius rushed to Luna, and found her pale, but shivering and thus alive. 'Damn that was close... here, take this...' he took some chocolate he had stolen from Hogsmeade out of a pocket, and basically forced it into her mouth. Luna instinctively chewed and swallowed, and a light colour reappeared in her face. She blinked a bit at Sirius, then her face lit up with a smile.

'Hi Padfoot! Thank you for the chocolate. That was a rather unpleasant experience,' she stood up, and brushed her wet robes. 'I am Luna Lovegood, pleasure to meet you,' she curtsied. 'You are the first reverse animagus I've ever met. I didn't know dogs could learn to become human. Did you go to Dogwarts School of Magic?'

'Dogwarts? Reverse animagus?' Sirius goggled at her, had the dementors taken her sanity? 'Erm Luna, I am not a dog... I am a wizard. The dog is my animagus form. How did you know I call that form Padfoot?'

'Oh, that is rather disappointing,' Luna pouted. 'I was so hoping I had found a magical creature Mr Padfoot. And of course you are Padfoot, or do you prefer a name like Snuffles?'

'No, no, Padfoot is fine,' Sirius replied. 'Look Luna, maybe you should go back to the school now, it must be close to curfew right? Please, don't tell anyone you saw me okay?'

'Well okay Padfoot,' Luna smiled. 'Bye for now then!' She skipped off towards the school, leaving a confused wizard behind. A little later he came back to his senses, and morphed to dog form again, and ran off to his own hiding place.

* * *

 

Two days later the weather was possibly even worse, and most of the student body stayed in their dorms. But one lonely girl was sitting outside near the lake, taking shelter under a tree as the rain poured down. Padfoot the dog saw her, and after a little hesitating walked over to her. Luna smiled at the not-a-dog, 'hello Padfoot. Would you like one of my sausages?'

Padfoot looked around, saw they were alone, and changed to human form. 'Thanks Luna, I am rather hungry. Here, let me.' He cast a rain repelling and warming charm on the girl, who beamed in thanks. Sirius attacked the sausage, and gulped it down almost without chewing.

'Ah... just what I needed. Why are you outside all alone Luna? Shouldn't you be inside where it is warm?'

'Oh, I can't enter the Ravenclaw tower, and if I go to the library or elsewhere there are students who chase me away, so I thought I would go outside,' Luna said in a happy tone.

'Erm, why can't you enter the tower?'

'Well I don't know if I should tell you so, but our House guardian looks if you're in Ravenclaw, and then asks a riddle. Only someone told it to ask me a rather difficult one, and I am not allowed to enter.'

'Well what does it ask you?' Sirius smiled at the girl, he could help her out.

'Erm, let's see...' Luna stood up, and declared: '”If a man from Hogsmeade tells you that all men from Hogsmeade are liars, can he be telling the truth?”'

'Well obviously the answer is –' Sirius started, then hesitated, 'Err no wait...'

'It's no trouble Padfoot,' Luna smiled. 'They'll let me in eventually, and if not, I can sleep in the owlry again. It is nice and warm there.'

Sirius felt his heart break at the obviously bullied girl.

'Luna, have you tried going to your Head of House with this?'

Luna's face fell. 'I did in my first year, but it was not helpful. Professor Flitwick told me that it is my own responsibility to make friends. And after they learned I tattled, they locked me up in a broom closet over night... and I really do not like the dark, Mr Padfoot.'

Sirius growled, 'that's not right Luna. Nobody deserves that.'

'Maybe you can break into the Ravenclaw dorms next time then? I am sure that if we are all forced to sleep in the Great Hall once more, they cannot lock me out,' Luna smiled again.

'Oh... er... you know who I am then?' Sirius was a little stunned, if she knew he was the supposed murderer, why was she so calm?

'Of course Padfoot!' Luna pulled in her bag, and took out a copy of _The Quibbler_. 'Daddy wrote all about you here. Only he doesn't mention that you are also a dog, Mr Boardman!'

'May I see that Luna?' Sirius was handed the tabloid, and saw a picture of himself taken back before his Azkaban days, with the by-line 'Stubby Boardman, lead singer of the Hobgoblins'. The article went on to talk about Stubby being sighted, and that the eclectic group may be re-uniting.

'Erm Luna, do these Hobgoblins really exist?'

Luna smiled widely, 'yes Padfoot, or should I say Mr Boardman? You should speak with my daddy, he is your manager, remember?'

Sirius scratched his neck, thinking. If there was any truth to this, maybe he could get a workable alias?

'Luna... can you write to your father and ask him to meet me in the Hog's Head pub tomorrow afternoon?'

Luna confirmed this, and soon after Sirius changed back to dog form, and left.

* * *

 

A nervous Sirius was sitting in the disreputable bar, a charm obscuring his real features somewhat. The bartender mostly ignored him, as he was cleaning up the dirty counter, and the other patrons all followed the same rule of don't pry, don't let others see you as Sirius did.

When the door opened and a man stepped in dressed even more oddly than most wizards, wearing what looked like a jacket and leggings made out of buckskins, and a large slightly skanted blue fez, with a golden tassel hanging from it. His hair was white and long, down to his shoulders, and he looked slightly cross-eyed. Sirius guessed at once this was Luna's father, and beckoned him over.

'Ah Stubby, good to see you again,' Mr Lovegood grasped both of Sirius hands, and shook them as he stood by the table.

'Err, yes... take a seat, Mr Lovegood,' Sirius replied.

'Take a seat? Hmm, I think this one would not match the rest of my house. And I doubt old Abe would like it if I ran off with it. No thank you for your offer, I think I will sit down instead. And Stubby, call me Xenophilius, Xeno, or Lord Dinkderdump.'

'Dinker–?' Sirius coughed, then just stared at the strange man.

'Ah that is better,' Xeno sat down, and took a sip of butterbeer from the mug that the bartender had somehow managed to place on the table before anyone noticed.

'Stubby, it's good you're back. The Hobgoblins are still quite popular, and I would like it if you could start touring again. What was it you played again, the theremin was it?'

'Therewhat?' Sirius had no idea what the man was talking about.

'Oh not that? Hmm. Glass armonica? Mandolin? Æolioan Wind Harp? Ringflute? Trimeister?'

'No, I don't know any instruments!' Sirius yelled out, then sank back in his seat as briefly the entire bar looked at him.

'No instruments? Oh yes, you are the singer and songwriter. How silly of me to forget. Well in any case Stubby, I will expect you at the Cross-eyed Hag bar in Knockturn Alley this Thursday, around five pm. The band will be most glad to see you again, and you can practice a bit to get back in the flow before your performance at eight. Don't be late now!'

Xeno stood up, took the chair in his hands, then thought better of it, and left.

Sirius was sitting there with open mouth. What. The –.


	2. Chapter 2

Sirius thought over things the next few days, as he hoped to see Luna again, or maybe his godson. There was no real chance of getting back in the castle with the increased guard, and  with his former friend Remus Lupin back inside, it was too risky to even come close. So by Thursday he apparated to Knockturn Alley, and entered the disreputable bar's back door.

'Stubby, good to see you!' Xenophilius beamed at him, 'look everyone, it is Stubby Boardman!'

_Everyone_ turned out to be two wizards and one witch, all looking rather weird, even for wizarding standards.

'Come on, let's reintroduce ourselves,' Xeno prompted the closest wizard.

'Martin, Martin Torrence,' said the man, not looking Sirius in the eye. He was wearing tattered clothes, and had a rather sickly sallow complexion. 'Xeno, are you sure I should be here? The doctor said I should not take any chance of risk, or I see things again... for example I could swear Stubby here is Sirius Black.'

Sirius' heart caught in his throat, but Xeno just laughed. 'Nonsense Martin. Stubby is no more Sirius Black than I am seventy feet tall.'

'If you's a giant Xeno, I'd eat ma hat,' said the next wizard. He had a beard and mustache on only the left side of his face, and his hair was shaven off on the right side. 'Good ta meet ya Stubby. Nicomedus is me name, Flatfoot me family.'

'Oh wow... you have the brightest aura,' said the witch, who reminded Sirius of a younger version of Trelawney. 'Groovy man,' she smiled at him.

'And that's Fiona,' Xeno introduced them. 'Well Stubby, what should we play?'

Sirius froze, as everyone looked at him. 'P –play?'

'Aye mate, we gots a stage setup an' all,' said Nicodemus. 'You's the band leader, what are we doing?'

Sirius thought hard, then asked... 'Does everyone here know Adam and the Ants?'

The next morning the Daily Prophet had the following article:

Hobgoblins return with surprise performance!

By Kevin Titswaddle, reporter.

In a surprise act, one that even the business owner was unaware of, the eclectic group 'the Hobgoblins' seemingly reunited yesterday as they played an hour-long concert in the Cross-eyed Hag bar in Knockturn Alley. Band manager and harpist Xenophilius Lovegood described the loud music as 'a new take on rock, as pioneered by the Ants'. This reporter is unfamiliar with insect music, although Mr Lovegood assured me that there is also music by beetles, crickets, earwigs, and bees. The crowd was not expecting the music, but the voice of lead singer Stubby Boardman quickly pumped up the crowd. We hope to hear much more of the Hobgoblins in the future!

Luna had a wide smile all day, that even getting locked into a broom closet for an hour could not remove.

Sirius woke up that morning in bed with Fiona, who snuggled up to him when he tried to leave, and kept him from leaving until early midday. The previous night was much of a blur. Somehow he had managed not to faint on stage, as he began singing the Adam and the Ants songs he could remember from his youth, and if his band didn't quite know the melodies or even how to play at all, that hardly mattered to the crowd. By the time the bar public had gotten over the shock of a live act suddenly on stage, Sirius had been giving his all, and at the end of their session the bartender came over to thank them, offering them a steady gig. At some point he had started kissing Fiona, which lead to him ending up in her bed. Not that that was a hardship.

That evening they played another round, after Sirius had tracked down a Muggle tape player from somewhere and some cassettes of songs by Adam and the Ants, as well as other Muggle rock groups such as Generation X. Surprisingly enough Martin, Nico, and Fiona actually could carry a tune, and Xeno had enough fun with his harp that nobody really cared he seemed to be playing something else entirely. Sirius found it was fun singing.

Then, after the show, as he was standing outside of the bar chatting with Fiona, he felt a heavy arm on his' and he was forcibly turned around.

'Sirius Black, you're under arrest,' said the gruff voice of Auror Dawlish, as he had his wand in his right hand pointed at Sirius and his arm caught in his left.

'Hold on there Auror! This is not Black, he's Stubby Boardman innit he?' interjected Nicomedus.

'Are you blind man? Look at him! That's the killer we're looking for!' Dawlish countered, 'now I am taking him, and you'd better – oof!' A heavy purse hit Dawlish in the stomach, and he fell back, as his assailant swung again.

'Leave Stubby alone!' screeched an ugly dumply woman who had been in the pub the past two days, 'don't make me call in Cornelius!' She swung again, and Dawlish cowered as he was hit again and again.

Then another Auror, Dawlish' partner, fired a firecracker from his wand. 'Hold on there Madam Umbridge please, I am sure John didn't mean any harm.' He reached down and pulled Dawlish back up. 'All right there mate?'

'Yeah Proudfoot... man she has a mean wollop,' Dawlish replied, standing uncertainly on his feet. Sirius had been frozen in fear at first, then by amazement as the dumply witch – Umbridge – had begun attacking the Auror, and now it was too late to run.

'Auror Proudfoot? I don't want any of your men to assault good Mr Boardman again,' said Umbridge. Proudfoot sighed.

'Madam Undersecretary, we have orders from Minister Fudge himself to arrest Sirius Black,' he began.

'Yes! But not the best singer of the wizarding world,' countered Umbridge, smiling sweetly at Sirius. Sirius felt his stomach churn, but forced himself to smile back.

'Madam, please understand. How do we know he's not actually Sirius Black?'

'Oh I can assure you he is Stubby Boardman,' Xenophilius answered. 'As manager of the band, I would know. Stubby has been with us since the beginning.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sadly, this is all that is left of a much larger fic. I had around 10000 more words written of this but except for this 'chapter 2', which I never uploaded before but found a backup of, the rest was lost.  
> Always backup your stuff!
> 
> Story notes for the following as I remember them:
> 
> 'Stubby Boardman' fabricates evidence he is the son of a squib half-brother of James and adopts Harry.  
> Luna gets marriage contract in return.


End file.
